- My session today is on the most surprising hindrance to your innovation.
- Innovation is a matter of survival. What is innovation? Innovation is the mystery someone on your team is dying to solve, if only you’ll make them feel safe enough to do so.
- When people feel safe, they’ll take risks. When people feel unsafe, they tuck it in and say maybe one day. If only the leader knew the power of one surprising word.
- In a world with so much fear, anger, offense, this word changes everything. People feel safer. Their hearts feel braver. Teams that have been divided by competition and offense suddenly come together. Finally, innovation can happen.
- What is this word? Forgiveness.
- When it comes to companies and leaders wanting to have teams to take responsible risk, forgiveness becomes more important.
- Forbes Magazine – “Forgiveness as a Business Tool” – “Truly transformational leaders are acutely aware of the cost of animosity.” People who do not make mistakes do not do anything.
- Forbes – “Forgiveness: The Secret to Innovation” — your organization can become risk-confident rather than risk-averse.
- Inc.com – “Forgiveness: A Key Tool for Business Success” – rank on integrity, responsibility, compassion and forgiveness. It’s tied to the bottom line. Average return on assets of 5x higher than CEOs with low character leadership.
- Forgiveness is not a message that I wanted to give because it is not a message I ever wanted to have to learn, to live. We desperately need to give it. Not just for our teams, our dreams. The real payoff of forgiveness is you deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you. Your team deserves to know that instead of holding grudges will hold space for grace. The hurt you’ve experienced will not turn to hate, you turned it into deeper compassion. You traded pain for perspective. You exchanged that wounding for wisdom.
- While you are driven, determined, you are also reasonable and responsible. You see people and care about their needs. You give them a safe place where they can become risk competent.
- How did this message of forgiveness find me? My journey with forgiveness has made a difference in my heart, my humanity.
- In 2016, life was going pretty amazing. My ministry was doing better than I could ever imagine. We were reaching people all around the world. My books and Bible studies were going into places I never imagined, reaching millions. Three of my five kids were getting married. I asked God to prepare my heart. He sees what’s coming, He wants to prepare us for the good and the not so good. “Lysa, trust my timing and love your husband.” Two weeks later, I found out my husband/my best friend was being unfaithful. It didn’t just break my heart; it shattered my world. I remember thinking, “I don’t know how to survive this.”
- I found an amazing Christian counselor. “Lysa, do you want to heal?” Then today’s a great day to work on forgiveness. It felt much too early for that to me.
- Most of us think it is too early for forgiveness. Then someday it feels too late for forgiveness. There never seems to be the right time to forgive.
- I would hit my sister. My sister would cry. My mom, the great judge, would come in and say you need to say sorry. My sister would then be forced to say she forgives.
- As I grew up and walked into very adult situations, I carried a childish view of forgiveness. I kept waiting for the judge to show up.
- Forgiveness is a command by God. Reconciliation is very conditional.
- Forgiveness is a decision and a process. It is not giving permission to continue to hurt you. Forgiveness is not even for the other person. Forgiveness is the only way to sever the suffering.
- If you’re waiting for them to make a decision, you are tying your healing to a decision that they may never make.
- Forgiveness is my decision that I can make. It’s not tied to another person.
- Counselor gave me a stack of 3×5 cards and asked me to write out each way that I have been hurt, traumatized, and pained. When I got all the pain expressed and out of me, it felt so empowering. My counselor gave witness to the pain that I had been in. There is something so powerful about someone else saying “I see the pain you’ve been in. It was wrong what happened to you.”
- Then he had me go card by card and say, “I forgive Art for….” It’s often the feelings that are the last thing to sign on to forgiveness.
- God’s forgiveness flowed to me now I just need to allow that forgiveness to flow through me.
- We deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to us.
- Matthew 6:9-13 – Jesus teaches us how to pray. The human heart was not created to carry the weight of unforgiveness.
- Part of our prayer needs to be confession and then forgiveness as we let his love flow through us. Confession quiets the chaos within me. Forgiveness quiets the chaos between us.
- Years ago at Proverbs 31 Ministries, we created some family values that created a culture. “Getting off the blank page is worthy work.” (Every idea is worthy work.) “We give grace because we desperately need it.” “This is a safe place for imperfect progress.”
- We were separated for two and a half years but Art eventually came home. Sometimes God rescues out of relationships. Sometimes He restores us in relationships. Forgiveness paves the way wherever we go.
- A quick story about a girl named Melissa. She was our receptionist. We do things called “Dream and Determine.” Her idea was an online Bible study. This was 2010. Her goal was 100 people. She wound up with 2500 people who signed up for the first online study. She ran another last year. That one had 126K people participating. Needless to say, Melissa is no longer the receptionist. She’s one of our executives.
- The best time to forgive is before we are ever offended. The next best time is right now.
- “Leadership Forgiveness Declaration”
This is incredible! Thanks for taking such extensive notes and sharing them with the rest of us.