- What causes paranoia in organizations?
- What does it take to own a face like this (baby emoji pic)?
- “There are only two types of people in the world: those who divide the world into two categories and those who don’t.”
Takers, Givers & Matchers
- Takers – you think of every interaction as an opportunity to get something from everyone without giving anything
- Givers – help others, often with no strings attached; provide mentoring. It’s the easiest way to make a difference. We often reserve giving for family and friends
- Matchers – even balance of good and take, quid pro quo
- What’s your style (the way you treat most of the people most of the time)?
- Narcissists are one type of taker. Another type of taker is a person who used to be a giver or matcher and got burned one too many times. Third type of taker is the pyschopath.
Which Style Sinks to the Bottom?
- Engineers, medical students, sales people measured to see what style performed the best.
- Givers are the worst performers.
- What is the cost of generosity in sales? If I can be 100% candid, I care so much about our customers that I would never sell them one of our crappy products.
- Many of us wander around thinking we’re givers while we act like takers.
- In groups, givers thrive. They’re willing to do what it takes for others to thrive.
Who Rises to the Top?
- Takers are not the best performers. They rise quickly, but they fall quickly to the hand of the takers.
- Matchers serve as the karma police. If you’re a matcher, there is nothing you hate more than seeing a taker taking.
- Most matchers use the ancient deadly weapon: gossip. They tell others about the takers.
- Other takers hate to see takers succeed. The people who blow the whistle the loudest are often takers. Example: baseball and professional cycling.
- Data shows that the best results belong to givers. Givers are over represented in both extremes.
- Givers fail in the short run but succeed in the long term.
- Cinnabon’s Kat Cole story
- If you want a culture of givers, what type of people should you hire? The negative impact of a taker is double or triple the positive impact of a giver.
- One bad apple spreads, but one good egg does not make a dozen.
- Effective hiring is not about bringing in the givers, it is about weeding out the takers. In the presence of givers, matchers become givers too.
- IKEA hiring cartoon
- There are disagreeable givers in our midst. They challenge the status quo. They ask tough questions. They have a bad user interface but a great operating system.
- There are agreeable takers, also known as the faker. Canada has the highest agreeable score. “As Canadian as possible under the circumstances.”
- Just because someone is nice to you, does not mean that they actually care about you.
Spotting a Taker
- They will use more “me” in failures than success.
- What percentage do people in your industry take at least $10? The higher the estimate that people are thieves, the greater the likelihood that they are thieves.
- Takers anticipate more selfish behavior among others. Its how they justify their taking.
- The most powerful connector on LinkedIn. His name is Adam Rifkin. He’s been pretty successful. He retired in his 30s. He’s an extreme giver. He bought a non-profit network to help people get their businesses off the ground. “In the end only kindness matters.”
- “If you want to be a successful giver, don’t try and be Mother Theresa or Gandhi. Do more 5 minute favors.” – Adam Rifkin
- Once you hit 100 hours of volunteering a year, that’s the sweet spot. Are you doing enough giving?
- If no one asks for help, how cna any body help?
- The Reciprocity Ring
- Takers become more generous because all the help is out in the public.
- If you can do this right, you can redefine success. Paranoia will melt away. Instead pronoia will develop.